For the peer reviews of our first essay, I reviewed Vicky Hsu’s “The Adverse Impact of Selfies: Mentally, Physically, Environmentally.” In her essay, she discusses the phenomenon of selfies, also known as self-portraiture and how they can affect the lives of the individual taking the selfie mentally and physically as well as the environment around them. The essay itself is nicely structured, and I got an idea of how everything was going to be explained clearly from the title. The main arguments were concise and it instantly showed me the stance she had on the subject matter. Since the points in her argument were strong, it makes me wonder if there are any positive aspects to selfies, maybe an increase in self-confidence to individuals who are body positive, perhaps? However, positive and negative aspects aren’t needed in this essay because it will make the argument more strayed if it provided both points.
I really liked the topic of selfies as the focus of the shift from print medium to digital medium because it’s so relevant. It was interesting to read about the negative effects that selfies can have, rather than just thinking about them as photos that people take of themselves just because. One of the strong points in the essay was, “An individual’s identity is built socially rather than personally nowadays” it really made me thinking about selfies more in depth because of the true in that statement. The main arguments within each of the three factors of impact were all good choices, especially the recent one about the dolphin dying due to people taking selfies of it.
Although I don’t doubt this statement being true, I would have liked to see some citations to references that say “a selfie photo can lead to mental disorders including body image issues, low self esteem and depression” to make the statement feel more factual and proven rather than being an anecdotal claim. There was also a citation about the dolphin dying due to people taking selfies listed in the references that wasn’t cited in the text. Possibly just writing “A news report from Isabel Hunter…” would suffice because the information used in the essay was paraphrased. Another point I found relating to citations was that one of the in-text citations had a typo in the author’s name (Pierce was written in the essay, but the reference cited Pearce), since references are quite important and strict when writing essays and especially now since this is published online, a quick proofread to make sure all references are used properly would be beneficial in this situation.